Skip to main content

The Fight for My Life


When you are lying in a bed without the ability to get up and walk away, it makes you to really face the feelings of hearing the words “you have cancer”. You don’t truly know the seriousness of the situation until you hear the words “you are within hours of expiring” and that everyone is going to do everything possible to give you a fighting chance. I was told that the type of cancer I had, Multiple Myeloma, was not going to be a sprint to the finish, where they could just remove the affected area and work with the chemo drugs. But a marathon, and that I needed to pace myself for a long process of treatments and recovery, and even after all the treatments I would always have the cancer. We would have to control it for the rest of my life with drugs. On top of all the cancer and treatments, I was additionally told that the cancer had taken my kidneys. So not only was a now a cancer patient I was also a dialysis patient.

The reality in my mind was, had I gone in as soon as I felt bad, I may have been able to get ahead of this whole situation. I would not be sitting in an ICU unit with a catheter, diagnosed with cancer and in complete renal failure. There I was, given a couple of days to feel sorry for myself. Then a switch flipped and I realized, I’m not done. I had more things to do, and it was not time to say good bye to everyone I knew and loved. That was the beginning of the fight for my life.

I am able to sit down and write about it 2 and half years later. I still have not lost that drive and fight. I actually feel stronger than I did before the diagnosis. I’ve gone through a stem cell transplant and the cancer is now in stringent remission. I do take chemo injections 2 times a month and keeping our eyes open for the resurgence of the condition. I am also on a kidney transplant list at Vanderbilt, where I expect to receive a kidney within the next few months. Life is good.

https://raymcmullen.squarespace.com/natrual-landscapes

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Addicted to taking photographs

     I wonder if I am the only person that must take photos on a regular basis. If there is a day that I don't hit the shutter on a camera, any camera, I just don't feel like my day is done. I love it. I am addicted to it. It calls my name. It's like a drug. It is my passion.      So I find myself carrying my Nikon D3 around with me all the time. Given the size of this unit, not an easy thing to do for the past 3 years. My friends have given the camera a nickname… “Precious”. They know that she comes before a lot of other things, and she is very important to my sanity.      Precious and I have been through a lot. We get out on a regular basis and explore. I can hardly tell she is on my back when we are out there away from civilization. That is, until I get back home and my backs stiff from carrying the extra weight.      She and I work like a team, and she is a great partner. The photos that we...
5 comments
Read more

Planning to Shoot

    Ever wonder how your favorite photographers capture those magical moments? Those shots were planned days, weeks, months, and in some cases years in advance. In may instances a photographer will keep a journal of conditions or times to revisit certain locations.      For me I plan my shots out to the next season. In the Spring, when I go to a particular location, I try to imagine what the Summer, Fall, and Winter scene will look like from that spot. I write it down and set reminders in a calendar a week or two in advance, to revisit that area. And, depending on the weather conditions this may even be a year or two away. Have you ever anticipated the bright colors of Fall to only wake up to a heavy rain fall? The leaves disappear almost over night.       Below are a couple of shots that it took me some time to get just the way I wanted them. From the type of light to the amount of water flowing over the waterfall. I by no means...
3 comments
Read more

finding my kidney donor

I can attest that there’s nothing more exciting than finding your organ donor. But imagine coming home after a hard dialysis treatment and wishing you didn’t have to do them anymore and there was no light at the end of the tunnel; only to have your best friend, soulmate and wife tell you that she got a call and that she was an excellent match for a kidney transplant.  I had been battling cancer and dealing with dialysis treatments 3 days a week for 2 years. I had been given the news that my cancer was in stringent remission however, I still needed to do dialysis treatments until I could get accepted into a transplant program. I finally did get accepted into the transplant program at Vanderbilt University, the only problem was with my blood type. I was looking at a six to eight year wait. I was happy just to be in the program.  My journey continued, day after day, dialysis treatment after dialysis treatment. I felt like the walls were closing in on me and there was no end...
Post a Comment
Read more